


Might As Well Be You

by johnson_justice (sweet_witch_hella_knight)



Category: That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dom/sub, F/M, Femdom, Hair-pulling, I WOULDNT WRITE IT IF IT DIDNT CANONICALLY HAPPEN, IF LINDSAY FINDS THIS AND GETS MAD ILL TAKE IT DOWN, Mid-Canon, Mild S&M, Smut, also mouth on boob stuff briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:14:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9232388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_witch_hella_knight/pseuds/johnson_justice
Summary: Chick takes her rage towards her jackass employer and turns it into something mutually beneficial. Takes place at the end of the FernGully review.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 1) this is my first explicitly nsfw fanfiction. it will be awkward. one day i'll look back on this like 'jesus christ, i was so cringey and virginal.'  
> 2) if lindsay doesnt want any more written nsfw content with her character, i'll take this fic down lickety split. her comfort above my weird experiment. (afaik doug doesn't mind nsfw work with critic, especially since critic is still a thing. chick is not and i'm pretty sure lindsay is embarrassed with old chick, including the source material for this fic.)  
> 3) i don't romantically ship chick/critic but i love the idea of them being enemies with benefits.  
> 4) it's canon that chick and critic had sex in this review. this is an attempt to analyze how it could have gone down. that probably makes this less horrible.

"See? Even to environmental nutballs, this movie makes no sense!"  
Chick glared at her partner. She was near the boiling point and him dismissing her interests again added fuel to the fire. "Say that again," she dared.  
Critic began to repeat himself in a condescending tone: " _Even to_ -"  
Chick lashed out on him. The brawling pair ended up on the ground, Chick holding Critic by the neck, both shaking each other.  
  
Soon Chick noticed he was slowing down, and overtaking him was getting easier. She followed his eyes, and surprise surprise, he was distracted, understandably, by the fact her rack was bouncing almost over his face.   
  
It was here Chick realized the obvious solution, how to use his tragic heterosexuality (at least she thought he was?) to her advantage, both winning their psychological battle and letting off some damn steam. She let herself fall completely on top of Critic.  
"Wait, what? We're not fighting?" Critic was confused and slightly intimidated by the development.   
She lifted her head and smirked. "Depends on what you consider fighting." Chick ran her hand along his leg.   
Already this was enough to intrigue him, if the sudden nudge against her waist meant anything.   
  
Critic stared at her agape for a while, then asked, "Are you saying we just lay here and do it?"  
"Maaaybe."  
"...Actual human sex?"  
"Yes, dumbass!"  
  
There was so much wrong with what she was suggesting. His own employee was holding him against the ground, directly after watching a shitty environmental cartoon, which _apparently_  turned her on, unless it was the on-off fighting they'd been doing while also tossing sex jokes at each other that had done it for her.   
Actually, that last part sounded reasonable enough.  
Not to mention a woman holding him against the ground flirting with him, for some godforsaken reason, almost always managed to turn him on.  
Trying to play this weird scenario off coolly, he accepted her proposal with "Honestly, what else is there to do at this point?"  
  
Chick smiled, and the duo wriggled out of their jackets and tossed them aside. She grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed her lips against his. Critic played along quickly, making out with her in return. Excited to up the ante, Chick grinded against him as they kissed, urging him to go further. Sure enough, he started softly groaning, grabbing her ass to hold her even closer. (She, begrudgingly, let him have the honor of grabbing it, but smacked him gently when he tried to pinch it.)  
They came up for air at last, breathing heavily, staring each other down for a good minute before Chick realized he was too stunned to take any initiative. _Okay,_ she thought to herself,  _it's up to me to break out the big guns here._ She tore off her top, revealing her impressive chest (she didn't give a shit about bras). She saw Critic, predictably, ogling her, and snarked, "Okay, yes, we've known for a while I had boobs, can we please move on?"  
  
"Oh, right, right, right." Unsure of how to approach this, not having done anything to a girl in a while, he awkwardly grabbed and caressed each one. Chick shook her head slowly and pointed to her open mouth. After a short while of him trying to understand her charade, Critic took one of her breasts and put his mouth around the nipple. Chick pressed his head closer in- the guy was surprisingly talented, working his tongue around her areola.  
Eventually, they had had enough of the third base bullshit. They were horny enough and both knew it.  
"So, uh," Critic asked, "you want to keep going?"  
"I hate that I do," Chick replied, "but I really do. Just get a condom or something first."   
"Well, you already got _me_ pregnant, apparently, so-"  
"Hey! Do you want to fuck me or not?" She pointed towards the bathroom. " _Condom, condom_ ," she repeated, channeling her impression of a particular scene from _Teen Witch._  
  
Once he returned, Critic stood in front of Chick, who lay on the floor with immense curiosity as he wriggled out of his pants and underwear, revealing his member.   
Chick tilted her head. "Hm..maybe you do need those pills."  
"Shut up," Critic snapped, insecure about his masculinity enough already without her bringing back embarrassing jokes from their review.  
It was Chick's turn to further disrobe, taking off her pants and underwear and revealing _her_ genitalia.  
"Now there's a rainforest worth exploring," Critic quipped as he put the condom on.  
"Shut up," Chick mimicked, "and just get back on the ground already."   
  
Critic kneeled back down and Chick pushed him to the ground, crawling back on top of him. He wanted to complain about how she didn't even give him a chance to top her, but her topping him was, to his chagrin, just a lot more appealing.  
She pushed his shirt up, but he felt if he kept it on, maybe he could maintain a _little_ dignity. She didn't care, since she was more interested in his southern region anyway.  
  
Chick started playing with his junk, gleefully watching his face contort with every well-placed stroke. Soon she was ready to get on top of it, but had a better, more petty idea in mind.  
Critic had frustrated her since the minute he hired her. He had pigeonholed her to be the "girl version" of him (which would make this whole ordeal a little narcissistic, if that were the case) and limited the media she could review while he had all the power.  
For once, _Chick_ got to have the power. _She_ got to call the shots. _He_ was powerless.  
So she simply sat there, naked, ready to fuck him but doing nothing more than staring him down.  
  
"Can you get on with it?" Critic whined at her.  
Chick swayed slightly, thinking to herself. "Hmm...not yet."  
"Not yet?! Why not?!"  
She leaned in close enough to kiss him, still refusing to sit on his dick. "Call me your master."  
As hot as she was, there was no way Critic was going to give into her power trip. She was still _his_ employee and he wasn't going to let her use this against him in the future. "No fucking way."  
Oh, that was his game now? Chick had to up the ante. She began, ever so slightly, touching his cock. He started wincing, trying to hold back his groans. Watching him squirm like this was oddly gratifying.   
"Say it!" she repeated, a devious grin spreading across her face as she slid a single finger down his shaft.. "Say it or this is all you're going to get!" She was having almost too much fun with a guy she essentially hated.   
  
Her dominant nature was hypnotizing. The more he denied her, the more she would tease him. His Smurfette was going to make his balls blue as could be if he didn't suck it up and just say the damn words.  
"Okay! You're the master!" he shouted, almost reluctantly. It didn't mean anything outside of sex, she wasn't getting anything out of this.  
  
Still, that was delicious for Chick to hear. She positioned herself directly over his penis, then asked a follow up in a mockingly playful tone: "And that makes you?"   
Struggling to find the words as soon as he could, Critic anxiously replied, "Uh, your subordinate! Whatever, I'm at your command! Just give it to me already!!" He sounded almost animalistic.  
Chick sighed heavily as she finally slid down on his dick. She hadn't fucked anyone in a long time, and she soon found it incredibly satisfying to be riding someone again. She slowly moved herself up and down, and much to her embarrassment, found herself grunting out loud. For a total man-child, he was a  _great_ boy toy. (Or maybe she was just that desperate.)  
It helped that she was driving Critic crazy right back, if not more so.  
  
"Oh my god, oh my _god_ , Nostalgia Chick," he was crying out, his voice a lot higher than usual. He grabbed her by the sides and pulled her closer. Why did she make him wait so long for this? He wanted to retort somehow, show her he had some authority. He noticed one of her signature pigtails and gave it an angry tug.  
Chick cursed out loud, and striving to retain her dominance, grabbed his necktie and yanked it, briefly choking him. She then grabbed his neck and dug her nails into him, clinging to him, because goddammit, this was her moment! Her opportunity to finally unleash all her sexual repression _and_ her months of loathing towards the Nostalgia Critic! Fueled by all that passion, she began to fuck him faster.  
" _What_ am I again, Critic?!" she demanded, panting.   
  
"You're the master, you're the master!" Critic repeated, almost in falsetto. Chick moved her hands to his collar and started pulling at his shirt. Even if this was degrading, seeing her in a sweat, grasping him as she slid further down onto his dick, was worth the whole thing. Let her be the master in their sex! He fucking loved it! It drove him crazy, but being going crazy and getting hot were almost synonymous to him at this point!  
Finally, after several minutes of swearing and grasping and grinding, Critic came, nearly exploding in pleasure. Mere seconds later, Chick couldn't stand it anymore and let herself orgasm as well, nearly ripping Critic's shirt.  
Satisfied, she got off of Critic's dick and rolled to his side, breathing hard and trying to recuperate from her tiring experience alongside him. She grabbed her shirt and covered her chest.  
  
After lying in their own sweat for several minutes, Critic broke the silence: "I totally made you come first."  
Chick pushed him slightly, mostly drained of her rage towards him, rebutting, "No way, asshole, you almost jizzed yourself the minute you saw my boobs."  
He really couldn't argue that she _hadn't_ carried most of the act, but he also didn't _want_ to admit it. The Chick was really something. Never mind how clever and forceful she had been during the review, but she managed to reduce him to a whimpering fool and turn him on at the same time. For a snarky bitch, she definitely made his life a lot more interesting (and his clothes less presentable).  
Chick had missed having control over any man. Don't get her wrong, she still hated men as a concept, and Critic was a shining example of why. But when she was able to dom the hell out of one and watch him beg for her to give him any attention, it was fan-fucking-tastic.  
But he better not get any funny ideas about them being an "item". She was too strong to be part of an "item" right now. "I still hate you," she clarified.  
"Right back atcha, bitch," Critic replied, though with an almost loving tone that suggested otherwise.  
  
As he started to come out of euphoria and into reality, he realized, "Wait, we didn't formally finish our review."  
"Oh, shit, yeah," Chick concurred. "We should, uh, probably get dressed and wrap up."  
Critic threw the condom to the trash and started putting his undergarments back on. "We shall never speak of this again."  
"Agreed."

 

  
  
_~A brief epilogue~_  
  
Chick had gone home, and Critic once again felt alone. He figured he may as well start preparing for the next review.  
On his way to the den, he passed Rob, who snickered.  
Critic turned around sharply. "What's up with you?"  
"Oh, nothing... _subordinate._ "  
Critic groaned and smacked himself in the forehead, regretting how loud he and Chick had been. "Hey, don't get any ideas. I'm still her master in the workplace. She'll go back to reviewing the girly films I tell her to review."  
  
The subordinate was very wrong. 


End file.
